Don't look at me with that tone! Or how expectations and presuppositions get in the way of our training
Most people who hear me babbling away with Aston ask me if he understands English.
Not surprising. We live in the northwestern Czech Republic and I am pretty much the only American up here that I know. I work in the Czech language, deal with errands in the Czech language, have my friendships in the Czech language, and yes, have even given police reports and testified in court in the Czech language. I am immersed in Czech anywhere between 6-14 hours daily.
When I go to the stables, my happy place, to get away from regular life, naturally I speak English. It is my mother tongue, the language in which I first heard "darling," "I love you," "good job," and "no, we don't fart in public."
Well. As a language teacher and health educator who specializes in intercultural communication, I should have known better.
I asked my dear friend Verča if she would work with Aston one weekend when I was busy at work. They had worked together before with me watching, and Verča is excellent with horses, so I thought things would go fine. Verča, of course, speaks Czech, but so does everyone else to Aston. Until I got a text message from Verča, I didn't think the language barrier would be a problem at all.
"Hey... the teenager was really bad today. I took him out on the longe, and he didn't respect my space, didn't listen at all... it was awful. I told him he would be in big trouble when you found out how he was."
My stomach clenched with embarrassment, and my face got red. I replied, "Aw shit... I mean, he has been testing the limits a lot lately, and I guess today was the day for it, but that is weird that he was really that bad. I am so sorry... was there anything funky about his behavior otherwise?"
"No, it's fine, he was better towards the end, and a couple times when I said a command in English he responded a bit better. Maybe just having a teenager day."
"Thanks Verča, I owe you one. I am so sorry he was so bad."
I kept thinking and thinking, having my own ups and downs with Aston, and about two months later, Verča took Aston on the longe again. I waited with my fingers crossed until a message came through.
"He was wonderful today. I started out with just English commands, and he was like a new horse. He reacted immediately, he was soft, willing, did everything I asked. He was a really really good boy." 12 minutes of video came through in which Aston perfectly responded to everything Verča indicated, how calmly he was connected to her every move.
Verča continued. "I really think the difference is in the English. I don't think he understood me before."
Aston, being an orphan, behaves a bit differently than other horses:
- He has a, ahem, diminished concept of personal space.
- When he is unsure of something or insecure, he tries to get close to me. He has even hidden behind me when other horses display antagonistic behaviors towards him. Great fun, that.
- He is extremely engaging and communicative, and often tries multiple displays of body language to interact with me. Not all of it entirely socially acceptable.
That said, Aston is normally very willing, engaging, loves working, and is happiest when he can do something right and hear, "good boy." I figure he was most likely confused as to what Verča wanted the first time, insecure and frustrated at not being able to do what she wanted. So he basically threw a bit of a temper tantrum.
I am not in any way excusing bad behavior. And anyone who has seen me work with Aston for a longer time knows that true misbehavior is always disciplined. But this is an important lesson, that not all misbehavior is truly bad behavior. Nothing happens in a vacuum, every effect has a cause.
Verča earned my deep respect for her strength and creativity to do the right thing and look for something that worked and brought good results. Everyone needs someone like Verča in their life.
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